Episode 8: The Day I Realized I Was Trying Too Hard (And Why It Was Ruining Everything)

Last Tuesday, I spent four hours studying for a history quiz that should have taken me one hour to prepare for.

Not because the material was particularly difficult, but because I kept second-guessing myself. I'd read a section, take notes, then re-read it because I wasn't sure I understood it perfectly. Then I'd reorganize my notes. Then I'd make flashcards. Then I'd remake the flashcards because the first ones weren't color-coded properly.

By the time I finally went to bed, I was exhausted, anxious, and somehow less confident about the material than when I'd started. I'd turned a simple review session into a marathon of self-doubt.

That's when I realized something had to change. I wasn't studying – I was performing studying. And it was making me worse at the thing I actually cared about: learning.

The Effort Trap Nobody Talks About

Here's what I figured out: there's a difference between productive effort and performative effort.

Productive effort moves you toward your goal. Performative effort makes you feel like you're working hard but doesn't actually improve anything.

I was stuck in performative effort mode:

• Rewriting notes until they looked perfect instead of testing my understanding

• Spending hours on assignments that could be done well in less time

• Researching extensively but never actually starting the writing

• Choosing harder methods to prove I was working hard, even when simpler approaches worked better

The crazy part? I thought this was what "caring about academics" looked like. Turns out, I was just spinning my wheels and calling it dedication.

What the Stoics Knew About Efficiency

Marcus Aurelius ran the Roman Empire while writing philosophy. He didn't have time for performative productivity.

His approach was simple: focus on what actually matters, ignore everything else.

He wrote: "Confine yourself to the present." Not because the present is all that exists, but because it's the only place where you can actually do useful work.

When I applied this to studying, everything got clearer. Instead of spending three hours making my notes look aesthetically pleasing, I'd spend thirty minutes testing whether I actually understood the concepts. Instead of researching for hours before starting an essay, I'd write a rough draft first to see what I actually needed to research.

The difference was immediate. I started finishing work faster and understanding it better.

The Psychology of Productive Laziness

There's this concept in programming called "productive laziness" – finding the most efficient way to solve a problem so you don't have to work harder than necessary.

I realized this applies perfectly to studying. The goal isn't to spend the most time possible on schoolwork. It's to learn the material as effectively as possible so you can move on to other things you care about.

Smart students aren't the ones who work the hardest – they're the ones who work the most strategically.

This completely changed how I approached assignments:

• For math: Instead of doing fifty practice problems, I'd do ten and pay attention to which types I was getting wrong

• For reading: Instead of highlighting everything, I'd summarize each chapter in my own words to test comprehension

• For essays: Instead of perfecting my outline, I'd write a messy first draft to discover what I actually wanted to argue

My Efficiency Experiment

I decided to time myself on everything for a week. Not to rush, but to see where my time was actually going.

The results were shocking. I was spending 60% of my "study time" on things that had nothing to do with learning – organizing materials, perfecting formatting, redoing work that was already good enough.

So I tried a different approach: work until the task is complete and you understand the material, then stop. No matter how much time you planned to spend on it.

My chemistry homework went from three hours to one hour. My history essay from all weekend to one evening. And here's the kicker – the quality stayed the same or got better because I was more focused.

What Actually Works

After months of experimenting, here's what I've learned about efficient studying:

• Start messy. Don't wait until you have the perfect plan. Jump in and figure it out as you go.

• Test understanding, don't just review material. If you can explain it simply, you get it. If you can't, you need to study more.

• Set time limits. Work expands to fill the time available. Give yourself less time and you'll find ways to be more efficient.

• Focus on weak spots. Spend most of your time on what you don't understand, not on what you're already good at.

The goal is to learn effectively so you can move on to other things, not to maximize the time spent looking studious.

"The Day I Realized I Was Trying Too Hard (And Why It Was Ruining Everything)"

The Unexpected Benefits

When I stopped trying so hard to look like a dedicated student, I became a better actual student.

My grades improved because I was working smarter. My stress decreased because I wasn't turning every assignment into a marathon. I had more time for things I enjoyed because I wasn't wasting hours on performative productivity.

Most importantly, I started liking learning again because it wasn't this exhausting performance I had to maintain.

Your Efficiency Challenge

Pick one subject where you feel like you're working hard but not getting the results you want.

This week, try the opposite approach: work for exactly half the time you normally would, but focus entirely on understanding rather than looking productive.

See what happens. You might be surprised by how much you can accomplish when you're not trying to prove how hard you're working.

Remember, the Romans conquered most of the known world not by working harder than everyone else, but by working smarter. You can probably handle your homework the same way.