Episode 12: Choosing Growth Over Comfort: Why I Started Seeking Discomfort

As a teenager, I've realized something about myself and my peers: we're incredibly good at staying the same. We stick to familiar groups, avoid challenging subjects, and even choose the same flavor of coffee. But after diving into Stoic philosophy and Adlerian psychology, and they've both taught me something crucial – growth only happens when we step outside our comfort zones.

The Stoic Path: Embracing Voluntary Discomfort

The ancient Stoics had this wild concept called "voluntary discomfort" – intentionally choosing difficult options to build resilience. Take Marcus Aurelius for example, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher would sleep on hard floors and eat ordinary foods, not because he had to, but because he wanted to prepare himself for whatever life might throw at him.

This isn't masochistic or making life unnecessarily difficult. It's about training yourself and your mind so that when real adversity hits, you're not caught off guard. And being a Vietnamese, I can see it reflected from my grandparents. Even though our country has improved for the better since our independence, they still don’t move on from their old habits and lifestyles: fasting, practice discipline, and exercise. 

The Stoics’ practice teaches us that comfort is often the enemy of growth. When we constantly choose the easy path, we become fragile. But when we voluntarily face small discomforts, we build the mental muscle to handle life's shenanigans.

Adler's Vision: Striving for Your Best Self

Alfred Adler, the Austrian psychologist, introduced a powerful concept: striving for superiority. But here's the key – he wasn't talking about being better than others. He meant striving to become superior to who you were yesterday.

This resonates deeply with me because, growing up in a competitive academic environment, it's easy to fall into the trap of constant comparison. Social media makes this even worse – I’m always measuring my behind-the-scenes against everyone else's highlight reel. But Adler's concept says something different. It's about personal growth, not relative success.

Adlerian theory suggests that we all have an inherent drive to improve, to overcome our limitations, and to contribute meaningfully to our communities. This isn't about perfectionism – it's about progress. It's about becoming the person you're capable of being, not the person others expect you to be.

My Personal Challenge: The Daily Discomfort Practice

Inspired by both philosophies, I've started what I call my "daily dose of discomfort." Every day, I choose to do one thing that makes me slightly uncomfortable but helps me grow. Some days it's small –learning a new skill or asking questions in classes. Other days it's bigger – like the time I signed up for a business project.

I used to hate working on projects, mostly because I had terrible communication skills. The idea of working with strangers frightened me. My comfort zone was my bedroom, staying put and at ease with what I already had. But I knew this fear was holding me back from opportunities and personal growth.

So I signed up for a business project. One where you would divide into groups and discuss case studies. The first few sessions were nothing short of a horror. Whenever I spoke up, my voice would crack right at the important sentence. I could hear giggles and chit-chats, but I toughed through it. And even if it was just out of politeness, the applause at the end of all the speeches did make me feel better.  After a while, before I even noticed, I had gotten much more fluent and calm during my speeches and the rest of the group enjoyed hearing my take on the matter. What I learnt from all of this? Discomfort is the sign of growth.

The Ripple Effect of Choosing Growth

What I've discovered is that choosing growth over comfort creates a ripple effect. When you prove to yourself that you can handle one uncomfortable situation, you start believing you can handle other scenarios. Your comfort zone doesn't just expand – it becomes more flexible.

Of course,  we shouldn’t constantly stress ourselves out or ignore our mental health. Self-care is still crucial. But there's a difference between healthy self-care and using comfort as an excuse to avoid growth. Sometimes the most self-loving thing we can do for ourselves is to nudge ourselves beyond our limits

"Choosing Growth Over Comfort: Why I Started Seeking Discomfort"

Your Own Growth Challenge

If this resonates with you, I challenge you to start your own “daily dose of discomfort”. Choose something small that scares you but won't harm you. Maybe it's striking a conversation with a stranger, trying a challenging workout, or sharing your creative work online.

Remember Adler's wisdom: you're not competing with anyone. You're just trying to be braver, stronger, and more capable than you were yesterday. And like the Stoics taught us, every small act of voluntary discomfort is building your resilience for whatever comes next.

Growth isn't comfortable, but comfort isn't where growth happens. The choice is ours to make, every single day.

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What's one small discomfort you could choose today? I'd love to hear about your own growth challenges in the comments below.